(Click here---you know, in case you missed something...)

FRIDAY  2/3
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* For once, Ellen Bigmouth lost...

* Try this at yer Big Game party!


THURSDAY  2/2
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* First Thing In the Morning Female Faces. (WARNING: This is pretty messed up right here.)

* Oh, baby. ("Do we still have any condoms? They're recalling our birth control pills...")

* Motley Crue. Vegas. Little People. Acoustic. Suck on that.

* Remember, Big Game wagering is not allowed. Unless yer bettin' on stoopid s#@*!

* In case you missed it, here's Joan Rivers smokin' pot. (WARNING: Don't try this at home, kids.)


WEDNESDAY  2/1
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* Oh boy! We made the list! Kinda at the bottom, but at least the Valley is representin'...

* And how about this? Quidditch, anyone?

* Breading. Your cat. Really. (PS---Not breEding. BreAding. Really)

* This year's most desirable women! (Anybody else gettin' hungry right about now?)

* Kristen Bell. Hot. Sloth lover. Who knew?


TUESDAY  1/31
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* Why you can't get a Savannah Smile here in the Lehigh Valley. (Rusty Trombones, yes. Savannah Smiles, no.)

* We didn't make the list, but Harrisburg did? W. T. F.?

* But what happens if all you got is that new snatch-proof panty wallet?

* Eight pieces of poop. Really, mom? (Forward to the 19:40 mark.)

* Hey look! Topless Kardashian girls. Sort of.

* And here, mathematical proof that Spongebob cannot possibly live in a pineapple.

MONDAY  1/30
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* Wanna buy a used car? Only a million clams. Oh, and it used to belong to the president!

* Record-setting weight lifting. 13 years old. Boys don't mess with her. Duh. (Sorry about the lame-ass TV "personalities". Jeez.)

* All hail The King! (No, not that one. Well actually yes, that one, but we're talkin' about LeBron here.)

* Alyssa talking backwards...

* Most common workplace retaliation techniques! (Any of these sound familiar?)

* Hey! Watch our hero, bass-guitar badass Greg Smith, in an episode of The Discovery Channel's "Sons of Guns" with Uncle Ted! (Click on Ted Nugent Visit...)

A fellow from the city was driving through the country one day when he came upon a quaint farmhouse alongside of the road - and there was even a farmer standing out front. So the city boy decided to stop and talk to the farmer.

"Good morning, sir," he said, "I was driving by, admiring the country, 'cause I'm a city boy, and I couldn't help but notice that you have a field full of cows on your farm. Now I've lived in the city all my life and I've never tried any fresh country milk. If it's all right with you, I'd like to try some fresh country milk from your cows."

The farmer replied, "Son, those are bulls! You don't get milk from bulls!!"

And the city boy said, "But I won't hurt your cows. All I want to do is to try some fresh country milk."

The farmer had to try again, "Son, those are BULLS!! You don't get milk from BULLS!!!"

But the city boy persisted, "Really, I won't hurt your COWS! I just want to try some fresh country milk!!"

So the farmer reluctantly gave in, "Son, knock yourself out."

In a half an hour the city boy returned from the fields carrying a pail of fresh country milk. The farmer scratched his head and started to speak, but the city boy jumped in with,

"You know, while I was out in the field getting this lovely fresh country milk, I saw a fence covered with honeysuckles. And you know, I've been city boy all my life and I've never had any fresh country honey. If it's all right with you, I'd like to try some fresh country honey from your honeysuckles."

And the farmer replied, "Son, honeysuckles are flowers. You get honey from bees."

But the city boy persisted, "I won't hurt your flowers. I just want to try some fresh country honey."

So the farmer tried again, "Son, honey comes from BEES!"

But the city boy was adamant, "Really, I won't hurt your FLOWERS! I just want to try some fresh country honey!!"

And the farmer reluctantly gave in again, "Son, be my guest."

In a half an hour the city boy returned with 2 mason jars full of honey. The farmer scratched his head harder than before and started to speak. Just then the city boy said,

"You know, I'm a city boy - been a city boy all my life. Now while I was out getting some of that fresh country honey, I noticed that you also have a field full of pussy willows ..."

"Hold on son," interrupted the farmer, "let me get my hat."