I cannot take credit for this.  But it IS funny.

The International Council of Men

HERE ARE THE LAWS:

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

    (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

    (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

    (c) After wrecking your boss's car.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

4. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever
unless you actually marry her.

5. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.  At that
point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of his choice.

6. In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

7. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the
score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

8. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model
and only when it's free.

9. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. EVER… Issue closed.

10. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

11. Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until
they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as
the rest of the room.

12. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza.
But not both, that's just greedy.

13. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than
you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.  Hang up if necessary.

14. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal,
drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no
reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs
about what a big mistake it was.

15. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
her to drive yours.

16.. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of pink, mauve, lime green,
orange or sky blue.

17. There is no reason for guys to watch Men’s Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. EVER.

18. Sorry Fella's, fruit is still NOT allowed in beer.  Case closed.

I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Men